August 2, 2007

DVD Review - 300

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300 D-

This movie failed to make me love it, or at least like it. Before I watched the dvd I asked my daughter what she thought of it and she said I might not like it because it is a 'dick flick', as opposed to chick flick which I am not a fan of either. But I have read so many rave reviews from both men and women so I went ahead and borrowed, watched and cringed. This is one inane, pointless movie. The only thing that saved it from an F grade is the photography. It's okay, I guess, since it is based on a comic book, graphic novel to others, whatever.
First, I didn't like the soundtrack, having unnecessary and misplaced 'dramatic' music. I was annoyed when whipping sounds came out of all 5 speakers of a....TORCH! What the heck was that, it's just a moving torch which should not get the viewer's attention as if it's a beast or something. Laughable. And then, lots of unnecessary female nudity, a gratuitous sex scene, yeah, yeah, yeah, the king makes love to his beautiful wife, why does he look like he's having sex with a ho? The foolhardy king led his men wearing nothing but a shield, a red cape, and a black speedo/diaper, to fight a horde of ugly Persians. The diaper reminds me of the costume Sean Connery wore in ZARDOZ but Sean's was a nicer saffron-colored diaper with a matching X bandolier and go-go like boots (see photo at the bottom). Also the whole movie is full of cliched dialog, and during the battle a lot of blood spilled that just evaporated in mid-air because you won't see them anywhere on their newly waxed and perfectly chiseled Greek manly chests, on their shields or on the ground. As I said this movie is based on a graphic novel so it's forgiven. Bad story and bad bad king, going to war without adequate planning and let his men and himself die needlessly because they're all macho warriors, (hmm, why does this sound familiar?)

doesn't it look like a diaper?

Sean Connery in ZARDOZ


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