Milan - A Most Annoying Movie

Filipino Movie Review

Milan F

I just wasted 90 minutes of my precious time watching this really really really annoying Tagalog movie. This is one of the reasons I rarely watched Filipino movies in the Philippines. Recently, I started watching tagalog/Filipino movies and liked some of them, even the corny but entertaining Enteng Kabisote and Crying Ladies, if you can believe it. The Debut and Pinoy Blonde are very good, I highly recommend them.
Somebody in my house put Milan in our Netflix list and I was also interested because I had a cousin who was murdered a little over a year ago by a fellow Filipino in Italy. He was an Italian citizen, had lived in Italy for over 12 years. He was killed because the other guy was jealous of the success of his business, which was recruiting Filipinos to work as domestic helpers, etc. in that country.

The cheesy opening music was a bad sign that this movie will suck, but I was determined to watch it and give it a chance to prove me wrong about Filipino movies. I did not know IT WAS HOPELESSLY BAD! The movie opened with a shrill nagging voice of a woman, who turned out to be the daughter of Nora Aunor, and the whole movie seemed to have lots of shrill women... AND men. The main character, Lino went to Milan to look for his wife, he did not have her telephone number or address, it never occured to him she did not want to be found, dumb. Lino was so wimpy, kept harassing Filipinos outside subways and on the streets and refused to understand the word NO, that I wanted to hit him upside the head during the entire movie. Near the end of the film the pretty wife turned up with an unbelievably ugly baby, he finally learned what happened to her and he went outside, started hitting the wall while crying (he's always crying) and kept saying "I am not stupid, I am not an idiot", I kept answering the TV hoping he'll hear me "yes, you are too", like a child in a playground, I can't help it because he IS STUPID, AN IDIOT, AN IMBECILE.... Stupid acting, stupid directing and stupid dialog, arrgh! The movie tried to show THE HARDSHIPS OFWs have to endure working abroad, but I remained unsympathetic, I'm sorry to say, but they are there illegally and they chose to work there as domestic helpers, duh! Watch this movie only if you are a masochist.;D

Memorial Day

no-frills hamburger

and

PB & J ice cream

Happiness Is A Warm Bun Part 2

crusty pandesal filled with cheese pimiento

if you're weird like me, soft pan de sal with pancit guisado (rice noodles)

I wrote about my love for sweet breads, rolls and buns before, this time I made 2 kinds of buns called Pan de Sal (salted bread), the crusty, salty ones and the soft, sweetish kind. The latter are more popular in the Philippines. Who doesn't love pillowy soft, sweet bread? The pan de sal is very similar to the Spanish country bread and French baguette but the Filipinos love sweet things and added more sugar, some butter and egg to the original recipe. Honestly, I love both kinds either with butter or filled with sausages and other meat spreads.

Crusty Pan de Sal
1 tablespoon oil
1 tablespoon salt
1 tablespoon sugar
2 cups warm water
2 teaspoons dry yeast
5 cups bread flour
very fine bread crumbs

• In a stand mixer bowl, combine ½ cup water, sugar and yeast, mix well. Let stand for 5 minutes. Add the remaining water and 2 cups flour. Attach paddle and mix for 1 minute, add salt and oil and the rest of the flour, mix for 2 minutes. Replace paddle with dough hook and knead for 5 minutes until smooth and elastic. Transfer into a lightly greased container, cover with plastic wrap and let rise in a warm place for 1½ hours. Punch dough down, divide into 24 pieces and shape into ovals. Roll in bread crumbs, place slightly apart on a cookie sheet. Cover with plastic wrap and let rise for 1 hour. Bake in a pre-heated 425°F oven for 15 to 20 minutes or until golden brown.

Soft Pan de Sal
1¼ cups water
¼ cup warm water
2 teaspoons dry yeast
5 tablespoons unsalted butter
¼ cup powdered milk
1 egg, at room temperature
2 teaspoons salt
½ cup sugar
4 cups bread flour
very fine bread crumbs

• In a stand mixer, combine 1 tablespoon sugar, warm water and yeast, mix well. Let stand for 5 minutes. In a small bowl heat water and butter for 30 seconds. Add to the bowl with 2 cups of flour, the rest of the sugar, powdered milk and egg. With paddle attached, mix for 1 minute. Add salt and the rest of the flour, mix for 1 minute. Replace paddle with dough hook and knead for 5 minutes. Dough will be a little sticky. Place dough in a lightly greased container, cover with plastic wrap and let rise for 1 hour. Punch dough down, divide into 24 ovals, roll in breadcrumbs. Place in an ungreased 13 x 9 inch pan, rolls touching. Cover and let rise for 40 minutes to 1 hour and bake in a pre-heated 400°F oven for 15 minutes.

arrange soft buns touching for height support

Filipino Donuts & Michael Chabon's THE YIDDISH POLICEMEN'S UNION

If you are wondering what's up with the odd title, please read on. The donut will be explained after the review of the book.

Spoiler alert: If you are here looking for shtekeleh and have not read the book in its entirety, please scroll to the bottom of this page for the recipe page.

THE YIDDISH POLICEMEN'S UNION by Michael Chabon A+
This is a superbly written novel set in the fictitious Federal District of Sitka, Alaska, where the Jewish people were given a safe haven by the US government after the collapse of Israel in 1948. (There is a real Sitka with about 10,000 people but here it is fictitious with a population of more than 2 million). The city has been striving for 60 years but with its coming 'reversion' back to Alaska, their dream of having a permanent state and to become real Americans is again threatened. The main character is a homicide detective Meyer Landsman who had to investigate and deal with rabbis, rebbes, the affluent and Jewish gangsters to find out who murdered his neighbor. He found out that the death was connected to his own sister's accidental death a few years back and discovered a graver event that even he was not able to prevent from happening. Michael Chabon managed to be both very funny and thoughtful in this 1940s noir style whodunit. The book has lots of yiddish terms which are not that difficult to understand, although I had to google and look for the meaning of a few yiddish terms at the yiddishdictionaryonline.com. I cannot recommend this book highly enough.

Now, why the Filipino donut? In the book there are a few Filipino characters: a boy who delivers the detective his lumpia, housemaids, a chauffer, hired thugs and the one who owns a donut coffee shop called Mabuhay Donuts. He is a 70-year old Filipino ex-boxer who is a valuable 'informant' to the detective.

Pages 172 - 173:

The Filipino-style Chinese donut, or shtekeleh, is the great contribution of the District of Sitka to the food lovers of the world. In its present form, it cannot be found in the Philippines. No Chinese trencherman would recognize it as the fruit of his native fry kettles. Like the storm god Yahweh of Sumeria, the shtekeleh was not invented by the Jews, but the world would sport neither God nor the shtekeleh without Jews and their desires. A panatela of fried dough, not quite sweet, not quite salty, rolled in sugar, crisp-skinned, tender inside, and honeycombed with air pockets. You sink it in your paper cup of milky tea and close your eyes, and for ten fat seconds, you seem to glimpse the possibility of finer things.
The hidden master of the Filipino-style Chinese donut is Benito Taganes, proprietor and king of the bubbling vats of Mabuhay, dark, cramped, invisible from the street, stays open all night long. It drains the bars and the cafés after hours, concentrates the wicked and the guilty along its chipped formica counter, and thrumps with the gossip of criminals, policemen, shtarkers and shlemiels, whores and night owls. With the fat applauding in the fryers, the exhaust fans roaring, and the boom box blasting the heartsick kundimans of Benito's Manila childhood, the clientele makes free with their service. A golden mist of kosher oil hangs in the air and baffles the senses. Who could overhear with ears full of KosherFry and the wailing of Diomedes Maturan? But Benito Taganes overhears, and he remembers. Benito could draw you a family tree for Alexei Lebed, the chieftain of the Russian mob, only on it you would find not grandparents and nieces but bagmen, bump-offs, and offshore bank accounts. He could sing kundimans of wives who remain loyal to their imprisoned husbands and husbands doing time because their wives dropped dimes on them.

With the mouth-watering description of the donut, which I believe is called bicho or bicho-bicho in the Philippines, I was inspired to make these delicious shtekelehs.

hope this is what he wrote about: fried dough, not quite sweet, not quite salty, rolled in sugar, crisp-skinned, tender inside, and honeycombed with air pockets

The recipe for bicho-bicho is here.